My stepdaughters never listens and always give a guilt trip if you don't spend every minute with her doing?

something. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I spend some time with just her and then, same day, she comes back at me saying noone does anything with her and she isn't special... I have a wife and stepson and she is constantly jealous of my wife's relationship with her son. She believes she should have her own time with the son and take him into her room, just them two, because the mom gets to see her son by herself all the time. In actuality, my wife only has her son 50% of the time. She constantly hares the dog, won't listen to my telling her to leave him alone and that someday she is going to get bit when he's had enough of her crap. I don't know what to do, instead of sitting and eating dinner, she wants to have a drink and get up and mess around constantly. She can't be a normal part of family time in the evenings and be in the living room. She constantly has to make a mess out of everything and then doesn't want to clean up after herself. She is 6. We are going to make an appointment for some counseling for her, wife, and I to see if we are messing up somewhere. We get tired of her disobedience and the constant guilt trip, why can't things be normal? Why can't she settle down and be a part of this family and quit thinking the whole world should revolve around her. The stepson is very laid back and doesn't get in trouble. They have 2 totally different personalities. Any input or thoughts are appreciated.